Siempre Nueva sweater | Club Monaco pants | Adidas shoes | Daniel Wellington watch | Ray Ban sunglasses
Currently listening to: LANY – Bad, Bad, Bad
Photos by Sarah Boland.
Happy April 1st everyone! I’m not really an April Fool’s kinda gal so instead of playing some tricks I’m offering up some prizes! I’ve teamed my I See Noise Prints up with Kelt ...
Gentle Fawn tank | H&M blazer | Forever 21 jeans | Le Chateau heels| Daniel Wellington watch Currently listening to: Sundara Karma – The Night Photos by Sarah Boland.
This Sunday March 29th join myself and more of Vancouver’s Fashion Industry Bloggers for a day of shopping… our closets that is! Come check us out for the styles you love seeing us wear, a ...
Siempre Nueva sweater | Club Monaco pants | Adidas shoes | Daniel Wellington watch | Ray Ban sunglasses Currently listening to: LANY – Bad, Bad, Bad - Photos by Sarah Boland.
1. essence cosmetics Eyeshadow Base 2. essence cosmetics 2 in 1 Eyeliner Pen 3. essence cosmetics XXXL Shine Lipgloss 4. essence cosmetics 3D Eyeshadow Irresistible Vanilla Latte 5. essence cosmet ...
Zara sweater | Oak + Fort vest | Forever 21 jeans | H&M shoes | Ray Ban sunglasses | Daniel Wellington watch | Kitsch Place rings Currently listening to: Notee – Side By Side -“What ar ...
TGIF! The week is here people and it’s the perfect time for you to get your Vancouver Fashion Week outfit shopping done. Check out the video below of my time shopping down Robson Street with Ver ...
1. essence cosmetics Eyeshadow Base
2. essence cosmetics 2 in 1 Eyeliner Pen
3. essence cosmetics XXXL Shine Lipgloss
4. essence cosmetics 3D Eyeshadow Irresistible Vanilla Latte
5. essence cosmetics Silky Touch Blush 20 Babydoll
6. essence cosmetics Volume Boost Mascara
7. essence cosmetics Lash & Brow Gel Mascara
Hand photos by Meagan.
Zara sweater | Oak + Fort vest | Forever 21 jeans | H&M shoes | Ray Ban sunglasses | Daniel Wellington watch | Kitsch Place rings
Currently listening to: Notee – Side By Side
That question… damn… it really sets in the more I repeat it to myself. To get right into it, B asked me this question because I’m having a little bit of a crisis. I’m at the point in my life where what was important to me in the last 5 years is starting to fade out and what I want for the next 5 years of my life is staring me smack dab in the middle of my face. I want to reach my hand out to grab it, call it my own, but my hand smokes right through it like it’s a mirage.
Before the breakup a couple of week ago him and I were having our weekly Sunday brunch. I had mentioned that I’ve been playing with the idea of finding a new job and that I’m not 100% fulfilled anymore with blogging and making my I See Noise prints. Don’t get me wrong though, I absolutely love what I do and can’t imagine what I would be doing instead. It’s just that I’ve rode the 3 year success wave and am no longer learning anything new. Working for myself has given me opportunities and pleasures I could only dream of but it’s just not enough. I want more. I need more, in life.
He asked me what more I wanted. I told him that I want my blog to be as big as the other bloggers out there and that I’m doing almost everything just like they are except they have some resources that frankly, I don’t have access to.
Some of you may say “Randa, you can have whatever you want!” but that’s really not how it works. These are things that I will legitimately not be able to obtain with where my life is at currently. When I mentioned these factors to him, he said very bluntly “Well, maybe you can’t make it to their status and maybe this is as big as you’ll be.” .. I really don’t think he realized how those words would affect me and frankly I didn’t realize it either until a few days later.
Maybe this isn’t something that I want. Maybe I don’t want to be a big blogger like they are. Maybe I’ve only pushed myself to think I want that because it’s what I currently do. It’s what I do but it’s not who I am. Who I am is someone who wants these 8 non negotiables in life:
1. To be happy.
2. To lead a healthy lifestyle.
3. To find true love.
4. To get married.
5. To raise a family.
6. To be surrounded by family and friends who support me.
7. To travel the world.
8. To work a fulfilling career.
Everything listed above is what I can have no matter what I do for work. It’s not that blogging holds me back from having all of this but it is putting enough pressure on my life where I’m forgetting sight of it all. I’m living my life in 500×500 pixel squares, there is so much more beyond those borders. I’m doing certain things in my life that are “Instagram worthy” just for the sake of posting. I’m forgetting to take in the actual moment because If I photograph it now, I can just re-live it after I’ve received my 100th like. I sort of miss the days where I wasn’t a blogger, when my life was normal.
Days where I hung out with my friends and family, had a boyfriend who loved me for me, ate my food because it was delicious, didn’t have to attend events week after week and didn’t have to spend my weekend afternoons taking outfit photos.
But… I do enjoy my life. I don’t think people truly understand how hard it is sometimes to be a blogger. I’m not talking with posting, events, swag, etc. Oh poor me.. Not at all! It’s hard to be a blogger emotionally and mentally – always being a focus, trying to feel fulfilled and true to ourselves. Sometimes you just need to refocus.
So, I got a job! I’ll fill you in with the details soon. This new opportunity already has me feeling more fulfilled, career wise. I know I’m going to learn heaps and will have more experiences that the blog and I See Noise can’t and won’t give me. I’ve poured all of my efforts into my two ventures and have grown them to a point I’m content with and now I want to pour those efforts into something new, something growing, something I can believe in.
I don’t care to be a big blogger, I’m pretty happy with what I have going on. I’ve worked so hard doing what I love that I refuse to throw it away. I’m going to take my posting back a little bit though. I won’t be posting 5 days a week anymore unless it’s content that I really want to share with you guys. Before I take the time to share with you all what to wear, the best new makeup, where to travel or what to eat… I need to truly live it first for myself.
Photos by Sarah Boland.