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“Think about this for a moment: Why would you ever choose to be with someone who is not excited to be with you?”
It’s a pretty powerful thought, huh? The above quote is the opening line to Mark Manson’s post “Fuck Yes or No”. The link to his thought provoking post on being in a relationship you can become excited about has been fluttering on my Facebook news-feed for the last week.
It’s been shared times over, liked by thousands and passed around group chats with my girlfriends and myself. All week I’ve been asked if I’ve read the post and what my thoughts on it are. I have a few…
It’s such a simple thought isn’t it? Why would you want to be with someone who didn’t feel the same for you? You gotta be some kind of masochist or something to want that shit in your life. Alas… that awful grey area in dating where you don’t actually know if the other wants to be with you. A simple thought, sure.. but it’s easy to see how one can feel confused and most times mislead.
I have spent the last 9 months listening YouTube videos, reading books like “Why Men Love Bitches” and even attending a seminar with Matthew Hussey all to be given mixed signals in the end. Do this, do that, say his, don’t say that. Well, fuck. What’s a girl gotta do to get some clarity!? Well.. like who likes you. (That’s actually the ONE thing I took away from Matthew Hussey)
Time and time again I’ve been tagged into game playing and I’ve always thought that I didn’t have the right cards. In fact, I’ve had the best cards one can have the entire time but I was too stubborn, ignorant and hopeful to use them. I’ve quickly caught onto the signals of what guy works best with and for me but sometimes I get trapped into the grey area because I was too starry eyed.
I always knew the other liked me but why wouldn’t they pursue a relationship with me? Listen honey, he just ain’t that into you! If someone wants to be with me they won’t play games that I don’t want to play. They will not only tell me that they like me but they will show it. In the end, if he wants to see me – he makes that happen!
Mark Manson has taken a clear note from, entrepreneur Derek Sivers who said; “If I’m not saying ‘Hell Yeah!’ to something, then I say no.” Inspired by these words, Mark has created the following:
The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.
The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” also states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, THEY must respond with a “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them. …. see? Like who likes you.
These days I’m a little more quick to recognize who will say “Fuck Yes!” to me and for those who don’t, they know where the door is. In fact, I’ve actually told someone that if they weren’t okay with what was happening they know where the door is. Needless to say that person ain’t around anymore… I never did write about them. Maybe for a Throwback Thursday!
I had a conversation with a girlfriend of mine about MM’s post and how quickly you can say “Fuck Yes!” to someone. Is it like when people say you just know he’s the one when you meet him? Or when you find that perfect wedding dress you say yes! No. She said that it could take a little longer and be more of a slow burn. This is where lots of patience comes into play – the other person is evaluating where you both stand together and in life so don’t fret!
I highly recommend you all read his post and ponder on it for a few moments. I read it at the perfect moment and after spending the evening with someone who made me tilt my head like a dog at a whistle, I’m saying fuck yes!
Photos by Sarah Boland.